Heroin is an excellent emetic - it induces vomiting, and as well, it’s a sure way to achieve a rail-thin “heroin chic” look.

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You know what’s great about purging? When the roof of your mouth starts peeling and you are wearing holes in the /surface/ of your teeth from constant acid exposure. Ugh.

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An eating disorder is a lot like herpes - once you get it, it can never go away.

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Osteoporosis is a great way to lose weight, after all, marrow weighs more than fat!

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Adopting an eating disorder is a great idea, especially if you’re a celebrity with and you really want to give the tabloids something to talk about.

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Instead of fidgeting more, try inducing a seizure in yourself, you’ll burn more calories.

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Stay away from fruits and vegetables and anything without a nutrition label - you can never be sure of the exact calorie content of these foods.

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Weighting yourself post organ-donation gives you the most accurate result. Your liver weighs 3 pounds, your brain 2.5, and your lungs weight 2 pounds.

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Instead of wearing a jacket outside in the winter, go outside nude. Your body will work harder to increase it’s temperature, in turn burning more calories.

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